Ouch

Before I go to bed, I feel I must share with the world two things I've just heard.

1. The sound, on getting up after having leant on one elbow for about one hour, of something in the shoulder area going like this. Only a bit... wetter.

2. The other sound, on standing up after having leant on one elbow for about an hour, of either my right hip or knee making something close to the sound hydrogen makes when ignited.

And they, ladies and gentlemen, are the sounds of old, old age.